Tuesday, March 24, 2009


When I was in the hospital in October, having an emergency appendectomy, a friend of mine who was visiting said, "Perhaps you should speak to the good doctor about your addiction to lip balm." At the time, I was hopped up on pain medication and ensconced in the womb-like cocoon of warm blankets. I laughed it off. But, my dear readers, I am writing today to confess to you whole-heartedly that I am, indeed, a lip balm addict. And, I must tell you that, even though I have heard that the first step in recovery is the admission that one has a problem, I have no intention of relinquishing my lip balm.
I keep stashes of lip balm in many places: In my office, on my bedside table, on the bookshelf by the door next to the keys, in the bathroom, in my bag, and in other locations which I will not divulge. This is due to the fact that I am often forgetting and/or misplacing my lip balm. Most recently I lost a tube of lip balm to the laundry. I left it in my pants pocket. I only noticed when I found it among the newly dried garments. I removed the cap and found that, though the tube was intact, it was empty. I can only speculate as to the fate of the balm. Was it dissolved, by soap and water, in the washing machine? Or was it melted by the heat of the dryer? Will I find a re-congealed glob of it on some item of clothing at some point in the future?


rockin' ricky rialto said...

I'm not addicted to lip balm. I can stop at any time. I only have one tube of mint blistex and do not require any other. It's always in the left front pocket of my pants, where I can always reach it if necessary. Or I can just feel it in my pocket to make sure it's still there and everything is ok.


footed pajama infant howls while belching.

Lindsey said...

Maybe his feet are hot.

ed said...

I for one agree wholeheartedly with the first posters affirmation for consistent lip balm storage. I understand LAbrarian is The Aveno Girl through and through to the end of time and existence.

\bvb said...

Burt's Bees Wax.

That is all.

Your Mom or something said...

I do the same thing with Carmex. I've been addicted since HS when it only came in those little round containers. I had a whole methodology for proper removal and placement of the stinky goodness. I have since switched to the new squeeze tube as nothing get stuck in the metal threads, tarnishing the yellow goo.