Assault.

On Saturday I found myself, once again, having been lured by the promise of cupcakes, at Auntie Em's. My friend Ed and I were seated at a small table in the middle of the dining area, which left me feeling rather ill at ease to begin with. My unsettled feeling was reinforced by an assault in the form of a waitress carrying a chair. She apologized and, since I wasn't injured or in any pain, I continued on merrily eating breakfast (though the time of day would have suggested that I was eating a late lunch). Some time later, cupcakes consumed and bill paid, I was violated a second time by the very same waitress and chair. This time, it hurt. She apologized profusely and refunded the cost of our deserts. I only wish I had ordered a dozen cupcakes.