Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Concerning establishments that never close.

If one is the proprietor of a restaurant that is open 24 hours per day, one might be concerned about patrons who, perhaps, overstay their welcome. Here are some excellent solutions, that I have encountered, to this vexing problem:

1. Play sappy love songs from the 1980's on a loop. A very short loop.

2. As an alternative to #1, play a radio station with static sufficient enough to be audible but not to drown out the music completely.

3. Invest in seating that discourages lengthy use.

4. Put your staff on a table-clearing schedule sporadic enough to attract flies to the unconsumed portions of food left on the aforementioned tables.


Anonymous said...

Does this fine establishment have a name?

Lindsey said...

Did I indicate that I was describing one establishment in particular?