My first rejected submission to McSweeney's Lists.

Evidence that a movie is being filmed nearby, even though you never see actual filming taking place.

1. Tents and other impromptu structures, into which you will not be able to gain access.

2. Men, often with numerous belt accessories, having conversations that are seemingly of great urgency.

3. Trucks.

4. A serious lack of parking.

5. Equipment, that you will consider pilfering, though its use is beyond your knowledge or comprehension.